"Words of Wisdom"

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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

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The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

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It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

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Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

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We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

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No one is listening until you make a mistake.

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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

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Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

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If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

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If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

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Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

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Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

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The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

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Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a raindance.

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A closed mouth gathers no foot.

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Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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(Go To "Words of Wisdom - Page 2" ------>)

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