1-More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
2-You think the stock market has a fence around it.
3-You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
4-You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
5-Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
6-Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
7-You've ever used lard in bed.
8-Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
9-You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
10-You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
11-Your home has more miles on it than your car.
12-Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
13-You've ever been arrested for loitering.
14-There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
15-You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
16-You own a homemade fur coat.
17-Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
18-Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
19-You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
20-There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
21-Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. 22-There is a wasp nest in your living room. 23-The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
24-There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
25-You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
26-You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
27-Fewer than half of your cars run.
28-The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
29-Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
30-You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
31-You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
32-Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
33-Your momma doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her a--.
34-Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
35-You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog.
36-You're an expert on worm beds.
37-Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"
38-Your family tree does not fork.
39-Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"
40-There is a gun rack on your bicycle.
41-Your wedding was held in the delivery room.
42-Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
43-Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.
44-Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
45-The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
46-Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
47-You've ever financed a tattoo.
48-You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."
49-You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
50-The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
51-You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen. 52-Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
53-You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
54-You go to the family reunion to pick up women.
55-Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
56-You can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt.
57-None of your shirts cover your stomach.
58-Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
59-The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
60-You use the term `over yonder´ more than once a month.
61-Birds are attracted to your beard.
62-The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".
63-Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
64-You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding. 65-Bikers back down from your momma.
66-You were shooting pool when your kids were born.
67-Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
68-You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
69-Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
70-You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
71-You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
72-You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
73-You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
74-You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
75-You've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
76-You clean your nails with a stick.
77-You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
78-People are scared to touch your wife's bathrobe.
79-Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
80-You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
81-You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
82-You've ever been too drunk to fish.
83-You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
84-You've ever used a weedeater indoors.
85-Your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
86-You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).
87-You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right´
88-You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge'.
89-Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.
90-Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
91-You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
92-Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
93-Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
94-Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
95-The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
96-You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
97-You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
98-Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
99-You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
100-Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
101-You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
102-You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
103-Red Man sends you a Christmas card.
104-The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
105-You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
106-Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
107-Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
108-Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
109-You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
110-You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
111-You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
112-You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
113-You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
114-Someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."
115-Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.
116-You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.
117-You mow your lawn and find a car.
118-You can spit without opening your mouth.
119-Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
120-You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
121-You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
122-You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
123-You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
124-You've never paid for a haircut.
125-You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
126-There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
127-You've ever made change in the offering plate.
128-The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."
129-You own at least 20 baseball hats.
130-You think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.
131-You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.
132-You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
133-Your biggest ambition in live is to "git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn..."
134-Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
135-You have a house that's mobile and five cars that aren't.
136-You gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."
137-Your `huntin dawg´ cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
138-You have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.
139-Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
140-You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
141-You have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.
142-You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
143-You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
144-You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
145-You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
146-There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
147-Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job--primer red and primer gray.
148-The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
149-The ASPCA raids your kitchen.
150-You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
151-You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
152-Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
153-You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.
154-When a sign that says "Say No To Crack!" reminds you to pull up your jeans.
155-Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
156-Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
157-You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
158-Your Momma would rather go to the racetrack than the Kennedy Center. (Clinton true-life story.)
159-You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
160-You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
161-Your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
162-Your dad is also your favorite uncle.
163-During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
164-You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
165-Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!"
166-You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.
167-Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
168-You think the last four words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines..."
169-You have a color coordinated rope that ties down your car hood.
170-You bring your dog to work with you.
171-You've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.
172-You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
173-Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
174-You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
175-You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.
176-Your back porch is bigger than your house.
177-You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
178-A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
179-An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.
180-You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
181-Your secret family recipe is illegal.
182-Your coat-of-arms features kudzu.
183-Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
184-You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
185-Your best ashtray is a turtle shell.
186-People hear your car long before they see it.
187-Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
188-Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
189-Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
190-You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
191-You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.
192-Your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a combine."
193-The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
194-The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
195-Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
196-There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
197-You take a fishing pole to Sea World.
198-The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.
199-You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
200-Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
201-You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.
202-You list your parole officer as a reference.
203-There are more fish on your wall than pictures.
204-Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
205-There are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.
206-You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient in soup.
207-Your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
208-You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
209-You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
210-You think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
211-You have more than two ceiling fans in your house.
212-You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
