"Computer Viruses"

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(BEWARE OF THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES)

~Al Gore Virus~
Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

~Ellen Degeneres Virus~
Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

~Monica Lewinsky Virus~
Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

~The Clinton Virus~
Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

~Titanic Virus~
Makes your whole computer go down.

~Disney Virus~
Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

~Mike Tyson Virus~
Quits after one byte.

~Prozac Virus~
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

~Lorena Bobbit Virus~
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.

~Woody Allen Virus~
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.

~Joey Buttafuoco Virus~
Only attacks minor files.

~Spice Girl Virus~
Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

~Ronald Reagan Virus~ Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.

~Dr. Kevorkian Virus~
Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.

~Oprah Winfrey Virus~
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

~AT&T Virus~
Every 3 minutes it tells you what a great service you are getting.

~MCI Virus~
Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T Virus.

~Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus~
Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

~Viagra Virus~
Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip drive.

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